OUCH!

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i installed a new windows last week, thot i erased my old pics from THERE. when i sync my ipod today, i was surprised its still there all of it & some photos i didnt knw existed. sigh...... much to my surprised was the feeling i had wen i saw it. its all jst painful, sad, fun, all great memories. all gone now. sucks really! wen u find urself a bit emotional. sooo gay. eerrrrr! i hated it. i hate this. :( i guess the hardest thing is fighting not missing her. it sucks! it sucks! it sucks! it really does. :( i hate missing you. i hate pretending im all ok while u go on with ur life. i hate bumping in to u wherever i go. i hate seeing u talking to guys or ur new bf, honestly it tears me apart. i hate fighting with myself not to think abt u. i hate struggling soo hard not to IM u, buzz u on YM or email u. i hate myself for feeling like this. so fuckin helpless. im in pure hell. if any of u out there wants to knw wat LOVE really means, LOVE makes u feel like a fish out of water. u myt as well choke to death. :(





+ TO: RAVEN, god daammnit! why do i miss u soo fuckin' much? help me! help me! help me! i wanna move on or i wanna leave all this behind. its killing me. it affects everything i do. everything sooo sad, & sucky now! all i do is keep wishing i still have u. i hated it. i hate the fact that i love u. i wish i didnt mean it.